Snow Angel
by Xx Soul xX
Summary: Ever since Kagome was little, she always had a weird fascination with snow angels. Lately She has been on a road of death, she is depressed and suicidal. What happens when she finally finds her living Snow Angel, but it may be too late? (one-shot)


Snow Angel

Kagome's POV

"**Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz" **the sounds of my alarm clock went off. I didn't stop it though. I let them buzz on; I was too lazy to get up across my bedroom just to press a stupid black button. Just like many others, I hated the noise of the buzzers. It reminded me of another day of getting up and facing life. I didn't want to think about the retched idea of getting up. Maybe I could just take the day off. I don't think anyone would even notice. Maybe they'd be happy.

I stayed in the bed while my alarm clock continues to make irritating blasts of noise that faded away into the distance after awhile. My mind drifted to other things. Nothing in particular—just what it would be like if some things in my life had never had happened. When I was fifteen, my parents died. No one knew about it, it's like they just vanished into thin air. I was left to fend for my little brother and myself. I'm not sure if my parents are even dead. They could be in Vegas somewhere, living the rich life like they always dreamed about. I hope they are dead.

My brother killed himself about a month after my parents disappeared. He loved them so much, and I guess he couldn't take the pain anymore. Part of me wishes that I'd die with him too. But I keep living, wishing that I'd die. I keep making myself move on. I live by myself in the same house that Souta died in.

I'm wondering what my life would be like if none of that ever happened. I could've stayed in high school. I could have gotten the chance to go to a decent college. I could be living in a mansion, living with a great career and being happy. Now there's a strange emotion—happiness. I want to know what it would be like to be happy.

The mirage of silence in my house ended when the phone rang. Reality set back into my mind as I clearly heard the buzzer still going off. I looked at the clock and it read, 7:14. I was daydreaming for almost an hour. I wearily got up and made my way slowly over to the alarm clock and pushed that annoying little black button. The phone stopped ringing and I walked down the hall to take a scorching hot shower.

I undressed myself and put the water heat on full. I liked the heat of the shower. It made my mind fuzzy and it felt like I could escape from reality for just a few moments. I put the bathtub plug in the hole and lied down and let the water rush over me. The familiar tingle of pain on my skin made a crooked smile appear on my face. I was weird in that sort of way. I liked the feeling of pain.

I spent about a half an hour in the shower until the heat ran out. I got my work cloths on and did my makeup all that was left to do was go out the door and pick up a McDonald's breakfast. I jumped in the car and started the engine. I looked at my silver plated no-name watch and it said that I was an hour late for work. My boss won't care though. He never cares about me; much less even know my name.

I was about halfway to work when my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kagome? Hey babe, where were you? I tried to call you this morning but you didn't pick up the phone." It was Inuyasha, My boyfriend that supposedly "loved" me. He doesn't know that I know that he cheated on me though. I caught them in _my _house making out. It didn't really bother me though. I didn't feel a thing for him, I don't feel anything for anybody. When I saw them, I just made a run for it. I went to the store and pretended like nothing had ever happened.

"I was sleeping." I told him nonchalantly

"Oh, I was just getting kinda worried. You always just seem to be on top of your game." It's the truth. I usually _am _always on top of my game. I get up just as soon as the buzzer rings. Take a cold shower, eat a healthy breakfast and be right on time for my stupid ass job.

"Well I'm alright and there's nothing to worry about, hon." I said with fake cheerfulness.

"Good," he sighed with relief. Maybe he really did care about me. Yeah, that's why he went off making out with one of his x-girlfriends. "Hey, I was wondering if you maybe would wanna go out for dinner tonight. You know instead of just coming to one another.

"Sure, I'd like that," what I'd like more is to squeeze his head off.

"Great! I'll see you tonight around, say eight?"

"Perfect." Great, another evening with the dipshit.

"I can't wait, see you tonight," he said with excitement clearly etched in his voice.

"Bye."

"See ya, Kags."

I hung up the phone. If only work would last forever. I don't think I could face him, not after I found him in my house two days ago.

Working was always a blast. I was a waitress in a local diner. It was a greasy, stinky, place that resembles something a little bit better than McDonalds. I just love working there. Especially because I'm the oldest waitress there. Most of them are in their teens. I'm 25. I feel so old. I should feel so young. I should feel _only_ twenty-five, not _already _twenty-five.

Work was over at five-thirty and I got out of the dirty building as soon as I could. I wanted to go home and go to sleep, but I couldn't. I had a date in two and a half hours. Maybe I would go lay in the snow for awhile.

I got home and went straight out to the back porch and lit a Camel cigarette. The backyard was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Not a single thing about the yard seemed disturbed. It all seemed peaceful and content. I really wanted to be just like the snow, I wanted to be at peace with myself. But even more so I want to be happy or at least content with who I am.

I sat there on my wooden chair, ignoring the cold as I looked at the snow. It was reflecting the moon making everything look brighter. I suddenly had the urge to go make a snow angel. But I had to resist. I was saving the perfect snow for a time I really needed it. For a time I really needed my snow angel.

I sighed and got up. I was a slow pace person living in a fast pace world. Maybe I should move somewhere else. Maybe on a horse ranch, I always had a thing for horses. I made my way inside. I looked at the stove clock and it was almost seven. I didn't have enough time to sooth myself with a blazing hot shower. I did my make-up got into a sexy red dress that slightly showed some cleavage. Put on shoes, put my raven hair into a bun, brushed my teeth, and got my purse. I finally plopped down on the couch watching some stupid TV program with 40 minutes to spare.

I got a call from Inuyasha about ten minutes before he was supposed to pick me up.

"Kagome? My car won't start up and I'm taking a Taxi to the restaurant. I'm sorry about this, but could you meet me there, instead of me coming to get you?" he asked pleadingly.

"Sure, no problem. I'll see you there."

"What's wrong? You sound kind of out of it."

"Oh nothing really. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Do you want to stay home tonight?"

"No! I really want to go out with you. I'll probably wake up more once I get out of the house. After all, it's only 7:50. I'll meet you there, Okay? I'm really looking forward to this." I'm such a liar.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? You know I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to." he was sounded so concerned about me. I smiled.

"I'm fine. You know I would stay home if I wasn't."

"I know," I could practically _hear_ his smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," as said as best I could without laughing. Inuyasha and I have only been going out for a couple of months. It's just funny that I say I love him, when I knew what happened with the whole Kikyo thing. That's why I'm going out with him tonight. I'm going to dump him but good.

"I'll guess I'll see you in about twenty minutes?"

"Yeah, goodbye" I said bluntly and hung up without letting him get the chance to say goodbye also.

I went to search the house for the keys. They weren't in my purse like usual, and that meant that they could only be found in one other place in the house.

"Buyo-" I called for my cat. He just loved to play with my keys. You gotta love him. He came running up the stairs from the basement with a look of contentment on his face and the keys in his mouth. I grabbed them and my purse from the couch and went outside to start my car.

I didn't take me long to get to the restaurant, only ten minutes or so. I was going to be early. We were eating at French restaurant. I couldn't really pronounce the title very well. When I parked in the parking lot, I was surprised by the restaurant. It was extremely fancy. So unlike the Inuyasha I knew.

I walked into the restaurant thinking about what day it was. I couldn't remember. Was it Thursday or Friday? Or maybe it was Tuesday. Who knew. I walked up to the guy at the counter and asked me what my reservations were. Reservations? Inuyasha **never **took us to place where we needed reservations. Something about this night didn't quite make any sense. And plus the fact that Inuyasha never told me what those reservations were.

"Taisho?" I asked. His last name was a good guess.

"Table for two, come right this way miss. Your partner hasn't arrived yet."

I fallowed him to where he put me at a very nice table in the non-smoking section that was right near a window. I sat down and waited for a waiter to come and ask me if I wanted something to drink.

I waited at the table for five minutes and when Inuyasha still hadn't shown up at the restaurant I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I was in the bathroom for only a little while. When I came back to our table there was a strange man at the table. He looked a lot like Inuyasha. He had long flowing silver hair and cold golden eyes. There was a sense of maturity in him too. I think I had seen him somewhere before. He was Inuyasha's brother or something like that. What was his name? Sesshomaru?

I made my way over to the table to see what he wanted, but I stopped midway. What if Inuyasha sent his brother to do his dirty work for him? What if Inuyasha wanted to break up with me, and he was too chicken to face me in person so he sent his brother instead? I felt boiling anger fill up inside of me. "Why that sonofa bitch, I'm gonna kill him." I mumbled underneath my breath.

I walked over to the table with a surprisingly calm expression on my face. Sesshomaru looked up from whatever he was fiddling with and his cold emotionless expression faded away completely.

"Kagome… you look stunning," who does he think gave him the right to tell me that? We barely even know each other.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Kagome? This isn't funny. Don't toy around with me. Especially with your… condition." He said pleadingly with worry clearly etched across his face.

My condition? Does he know that I saw Inuyasha? How could he? And why is he here in the first place?

"Look, I'm in no mood for playing games. Why are you here? Did Inuyasha send you?" I told him sternly.

His eyes widened, then hardened. He looked down at the table. His hands clenched the table cloth. He was angry.

"Inuyasha didn't send me. He died three years ago."

"He's not dead!" I blurted out of pure anger. People were starting to stare, but it didn't matter to me. "I just saw him three_ days_ ago! He was cheating on me with my freaking sister!"

"Kagome! Stop with this nonsense! Inuyasha died! He is going to stay dead!"

"no… but I just talked with him today… on the phone…" I couldn't believe that this was happening. I just had talked to him, he couldn't be dead. Dead people cant talk on the phone.

"Oh my God, Kagome… you didn't… that was _me_ you were talking on the phone. We're the ones that were going out together."

I backed up away from him. This sure was some psycho here and I had to get out.

"n-no. Inuyasha and I are going out! I was going to dump him for cheating on me. You're just his brother. I barely even know you!" I stuttered. Tears were running down my cheeks. I knew that if I didn't get out of there soon I would loose it completely.

I ran for the door and hurriedly got in my car and started it. I saw Sesshomaru knocking on my window screaming at the top of his lungs. He had tears coming out of the corners of his eyes. I didn't stay to hear what he said. I scrambled out of the lot and headed home. I could barely see where I was going. The hot tears stung my cheeks and blurred my vision. I almost got into an accident on the way home.

I ran in and locked the door. I practically slammed into the bed as I cried my heart's desire out. It was all so confusing. I wasn't going out with Sesshomaru. He doesn't even know me. Why would he tell me that Inuyasha died? Why would he say that we're going out? Why did he say I have a condition? What the fuck is going on here. This is just too much to handle for me.

A few minutes later I could hear someone pounding on the door. It could be no one other than Sesshomaru. I didn't get the door. I was scared to death of him. I got up and went to the basement and hid there for hours, until I couldn't hear the banging anymore. I went up the stairs and got the phone. I called Inuyasha's cell phone. There was no ringing, only the sound of the beeping in the background and the lady's voice saying, "We're sorry but the number you've dialed is no longer in service."

"N-n-no. NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Fresh tears started to pour out of my eyes. "This can't b-be happening. This isn't r-real." I curled up into a tight ball and tried to shut off the rest of the world. Of reality. I didn't think about anything. I shut down my mind completely. I soon fell asleep from exhaustion.

When I woke up again it was still dark out. I felt like I had no life in me, like I had no energy or will to live. This was the best time for my snow angel to come and guide me.

I walked up stairs and out my back porch. I was greeted with a gush of strong cold air. I didn't feel any temperature though. I looked at the thermometer. It said -29 Fahrenheit. I looked at my backyard. It was still the same as only a few hours ago.

Since I was little I always loved snow angels. They always reminded me of how perfect the earth was during the winter season. I wanted to believe that if made just one snow angel perfectly that a real angel would come to you and grant you one wish. I know what wish I want.

I waked off my porch and but my bare feet into the snow, making the first marks of the foot deep snow. I carefully lain down on my back and slowly started to move my arms and legs. I was freezing but I didn't let it get to me. Besides I was getting number by the second.

I don't know how I did so, but I got up without making a mess of my snow angel. It looked perfect, except for one thing—a halo. I gradually made my way over to the head of the angel and put my finger in the snow and made a ring on top of the head.

I buried myself underneath the snow right next to my angel. I knew what I want and if I stayed in the snow long enough, my wish would be granted.

Each second that I am awake I feel the numbness pulsing through my blood. It dulls the pain of life, of reality. Soon I will have nothing left, but sweet dreams of death. I close my eyes and feel nothing as the darkness takes over me.

Xx0xX

Sesshomaru's POV

I sat outside of her house for hours. Hoping that she didn't do what I think she did. The wind blew harder, and I stayed still. I couldn't give up now. I just had to stay and see if she was okay, I had to make sure that she didn't die. I love her so much. Even before Kagome and Inuyasha started to date. But that's beside the point. I have to protect Kagome.

Hour after hour went by and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I broke into her house. I smashed her window with my fist. My fist had blood dripping down the side, but I didn't give a damn. I searched the entire house and couldn't find her. I looked over and over again, calling out her name but I didn't find her. I looked out of the back window and found footsteps going into her backyard.

I remembered what she said to me when it first started to snow. _I'll never walk in my backyard. I just love the way snow sits when it's undisturbed. It makes me feel so calm and happy. Just like the way you do. _She paused for a few moments._ Your hair reminds me of the snow Sesshy, I guess I could call you my snow angel. _

I made my slowly to the back porch. There's just no way she could…

When I got outside I saw footprints leading to a snow angel. I smiled for an instance. But it vanished as soon as I saw what was lying next to it. I ran through the snow in a panic to save Kagome. When I got to her, I saw that her lips were dark purple and she was horribly pale. I couldn't hear if she was breathing, because of the snowy wind. I picked her up and felt no body warmth whatsoever.

I put her on the floor right in front of the burning fireplace. I was afraid to check her breathing, but I did so anyway. I didn't hear a thing. I moved my fingertips to the point on her wrist. Not a single beat. She was dead.

At first I was so stunned. I couldn't believe that she killed herself. Not the happy-go-lucky Kagome that I knew. She would've never taken her own life. She knew better. But I now know that this wasn't the Kagome from the other day. This was the Kagome from three years ago when she couldn't handle life on her own. The one that was depressed. The one that didn't want to live.

I clenched my fists. Why didn't she give me a warning? Why didn't she tell me that she didn't want to fallow her plan? Why didn't she tell me that she knew she might die? Why would she do this to me?

I let the tears flow down my cheeks silently. I growled at the thought of her willing to die. Why? Why did she have to die tonight of all nights? I was going to propose to her of all nights. I felt the black velvet box in my pocket that kept her ring.

All that is racing through my mind is "why didn't she tell me?" or "why didn't she leave me a sign?"

My tears fell upon Kagome's already soaked skin. I looked up at her living room. I thought about her sitting here and being alive only a few hours ago. I noticed something on her bookshelf that was odd. One of the books was a few inches away from all the other books.

I pulled it out and found out that there was a folded piece of paper placed as a bookmark. I unfolded the paper and found that it was a letter from her to me.

_Sesshy_,

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you in person, but if I did that you wouldn't have let me done it in the first place. On Tuesday I took some medication that will make me forget everything that I want to. You know what I mean. I just can't live with the guilt of killing your brother. I know it was and accident. But I still can't help the fact that I was the one to kill him. I don't know what's going to happen after I drink it. Maybe I'll think I'm a little girl and my parents and brother are still alive, maybe I won't. I might even go back to the time when I was depressed and thought I couldn't go on with life. Right now, that time period seems like heaven to me. _

_I want to let you know that I love you, no matter what happens to me. I'll love you for an eternity, even if you find someone else. But please don't blame this on yourself. It was my fault and only mine. Don't feel guilty because you didn't stop it, I would've done it some time you weren't around me. just please, keep in mind that I don't want you to be sad about this. At least not to the point where life's not worth living. That's kind of hard to believe coming from a person like me, but still. I don't want you to waste your life like I've wasted mine. _

_With all the love in my heart,_

_Kagome_

I sat there on the floor next to Kagome. I clenched the letter in my hand as I reread the letter over and over again. The letter was stained with my tears. I couldn't look at it anymore and I threw it off somewhere. I crumpled over her body, and bawled my eyes out like a baby.

I looked at Kagome, her lips were still purple. I brushed the wet hair from her face and I kissed her goodbye.

-End-


End file.
